


You Feel Like Family

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Series: Cleaning Out the Que [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Body Dysphoria, Body Modification, Castiel is Trans, Gay Pride, Giving up their baby, Homelessness, Trans Male Character, Violence, free dad hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 21:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19449778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: Dean and Castiel have gone to pride every year since they were able to; offering free dad hugs to the lost, confused, and abandoned. No one needed a hug quite like Emma, especially when it was from the dads who'd given her up so many years ago.





	You Feel Like Family

“You look ridiculous,” Dean grinned, staring at his gorgeous husband. Cas, who was currently sporting the most adorable  _ free dad hug _ shirt, was pouting up at him silently asking him to fix his disaster hair. His own shirt was much less showy but it felt right for him and he knew the one Cas had picked out one that did that for him too. 

“You ready to do this again? You know we come home with a brand new litter every time we go out there,” Dean teased, laughing a bit as he fixed Cas’ hair a bit, though the glitter that coated his hand was indeed the bane of his existence. 

Cas nodded, his smile ever present and even more so now that Dean’s fingers were combing through his hair, “Yes. And I know deep down underneath all that grump is the biggest teddy bear to ever exist and will never regret a single second of this,” he said with a smug smile.

“Oh I’m not denying it, I love this as much as you do...just wanted to make sure it was still something you wanted,” Dean promised, leaning in to grab a kiss. It never failed that PRIDE meant his husband was breaking down in tears, both happy and sad. He himself had gotten choked up a few times, but nothing like Cas. Of course, Dean also liked to hide his tears for behind closed doors when nobody but the love of his life was around to mock him and Cas would  _ never _ .

“I’ll grab the keys, you ready to go?” 

“Mmhmm,” Cas said and then bit his lip, “Dean...do...do I look okay in this? Or should I put the blue one back on?” he asked pointing to the light blue shirt that said “Free Dad Hugs” on it as well. Even after all these years, he could still become a self conscious mess about the things that he wore.

“You look amazing, Cas. You’d look amazing in anything. You’re just one of those people who can get by with wearing anything, it’s unfair when you think about it,” Dean grinned, wrapping his arms around Cas so that he felt safe and secure. When his husband melted into him he knew he’d done the right thing. 

Cas let Dean hold him for a few minutes before he felt okay enough to release his husband, “Thank you,” he said and leaned up for a kiss that Dean happily gave him, “C’mon, we’ve got work to do.” He took up Dean’s hand and they made their way out to the car. They had started off going to Pride in Dean’s car, then later joined their mutual friend Benny with a motorcycle. Now though, they took Cas’s car to the parade. 

Thankfully, the traffic wasn’t too horrible just yet, then again, they had shortcut. Cas looked out the window at their restaurant and sighed happily. It never ceased to amaze him how things turned out for him and Dean. He glanced over at his husband who seemed to be doing the same thing and Cas smiled. 

“Ready?” Cas asked as the sound of a motorcycle pulled up next to them.

“Born ready,” he said, taking a deep breath as they made their way outside to where Benny was waiting on his beast of a bike. Dean had been jealous as hell for a while but the look of sheer terror on Cas’ face when he mentioned maybe trying to find one to fix up, had been enough to settle his restless heart. Besides, he wouldn’t want Baby to think he was cheating on her. 

“Hey guys,” Benny said, instantly hugging his two best friends the second he was off the bike. He too had a shirt that said Free Dad Hugs on it but he of course had to be a little extra and get the bright pink, crop top one. His own little husband Samandriel made fun of him every time he wore it but Benny loved it.

“Alfie still sick?” Cas asked after he moved out of the way for Dean and Benny to hug.

“Mmhmm, he’s real upset about missing the parade,” Benny sighed.

“I’ll send him home some soup later, get the little guy back up and at it in no time,” Dean promised, pulling out of the hug though it usually lasted a beat longer than most. The two of them had been through a lot of shit together, Cas too. They’d picked Alfie up a few years later. Dean didn’t know what happened to him, not really but the poor kid must have really been through it, and all on his own. Watching him come back to himself had been something of a miracle but Dean never forgot to be thankful that he’d had Benny and Cas for most of his rough patches. 

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand and go party!” He said, pointing toward the street where people were it was already relatively crowded and he wanted to get in a good spot. 

Cas bounced on his toes excitedly and nearly forgot the rainbow backpack he’d special ordered. He quickly got it out of the back seat and ran to catch up, his hand instantly locking with Dean’s. They found the group they normally connected with and Cas had to swallow down the lump in his throat when he saw how much bigger the signs were this year. Cas quickly took out the little rainbow add ons he brought and even managed to talk Dean into wearing a few of the bead necklaces. Benny of course totally commandeered the long rainbow wig.

“Hey, it looks better on me anyway,” Benny teased when Cas mock pouted at him.

“That is not even a little bit true,” Dean said, shaking his head at his friend. “But we both know he could never pull off the ears, so you might wanna let him have this.” 

Cas snorted and placed the fuzzy rainbow cat ears on his head. He liked the headband better anyway and the wig sometimes messed with his head. And today was not the day to be locked up in his own problems. Today was about cheering up others and giving as many hugs to those who needed as he could. 

There was a canon and then suddenly they were surrounded by confetti, signalling the start of the parade. Cas smiled brightly up at Dean and gave his husband a quick kiss, “You remembered to bring the tissues this year right?” he laughed.

“After the disaster of 2012, I won’t ever forget them again,” Dean shivered, remembering the year they met Charlie. She had become one of their best friends over the years but when Dean had found Cas sobbing on the steps of what would one day be their restaurant, he’d had no idea what was going on. 

Then Charlie happened, and he understood. 

She was the first they adopted into their little family. Then Ash and Jo, and with them Ellen. Then Sammy found him after over a decade apart and forced Dean into reconnecting with their surly Uncle Bobby, who brought with him Jody Mills and her wife Donna. They grew quickly in the first few years, but since then they’d become more and more welcoming. Each and every single one of their crew seemed to find someone lost pup to bring home and Dean and Cas could never turn them away. 

Castiel’s voice pulled him back into the moment and Dean shook his head. “Yeah, sorry… I was just thinking.” 

“It’s okay,” Cas said hugging around Dean’s torso. He watched the parade for a bit plastered to Dean’s side when he noticed the first one staring at their group with tears already in their eyes. Cas unlatched himself from Dean and smiled at her, his arms opening just in time for her to crash against him.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Cas whispered.

“I-I’m so sorry,-” Hael answered, her whole body trembling as the offer of a hug was long past completion. She knew she should pull away, should allow others the same feeling of acceptance that surrounded her but she just-she couldn’t. After weeks, months of being nothing more than a bug on the bottom of someone’s shoe, worse in some cases, she actually felt like she was  _ wanted _ . There had been such a longing in her heart that she hadn’t even realized it until she’d seen the words scrawled across his shirt. “I’m so sorry-” 

Cas gently pulled away just enough to brush the girl’s tears away, “You have  _ nothing _ to be sorry for. You are beautiful and though I don’t know you, I love you sweetheart. Now, do yourself a favor and get a hug from him too, he’s amazing,” Cas said and gently pushed her towards Dean where he practically engulfed the girl. Cas had to quickly turn away to wipe at his face. This was going to be a very long day.

“Oh-ka-hey there,” Dean said, a small laugh escaped as the girl buried her face in his neck. When she couldn’t seem to bring herself out of it he quietly said, “You know what goes really good with tacos?” 

Hael was a bit shaken but out of habit she guessed, she said, “Huh?” 

_ “Pico de Gayyy-oh.”  _

Despite herself, Hael cackled, the joke wasn’t funny, not really, but it was still somehow hilarious in that it made her laugh when she hadn’t been sure she’d ever be able to do that again. 

Dean grinned as he was finally able to see her face. “Consider that bi dad joke a freebie, along with your hug.” 

Cas swallowed hard and quickly fished out one of their business cards for the restaurant, “Come by anytime, first meal is on the house,” Cas whispered as he pressed the card into her hand.

“We are all getting together tonight after everything is over, you can come then if you want. We usually hang out pretty late though, so if you’re at a shelter-” 

“No, I-I’m staying with a friend, fo-for now, til the weekend.” 

_ ‘One hell of a friend _ .’ Dean thought but didn’t say. 

“Well like he said, you’re welcome any time but we’re gonna have more food than we know what to do with tonight if you feel up to company,” he promised, “I might even tell you another awesome joke.” 

“Please don’t,” she said, but there was a slight tilt to her mouth and she knew he could see her smiling. 

“Yeah yeah- now skeddaddle and go celebrate you being you, find someone to dance with, or sing with or make out with, I won’t judge.” 

Cas laughed softly and watched as the girl walked away with a much lighter step. It was the exact reason why they decided to do this. He, Benny and Dean had each other from a much younger age and Cas wanted to help others feel that same level of love and support.

The next couple of hours were much the same. People of all ages, even some older ones would come up and give them hugs that broke and healed Cas’s heart all in the same breath. One boy who was still in his teens held onto Cas to the point where he had to step over to the sidewalk and sit down with him. He learned the boy’s name was Aiden and he ended up staying with them, wanting to join them when they went to the restaurant. 

Dean was good with names, he had a technique that worked flawlessly but after all the hugs they went through he had to admit it was harder to keep track of all of them, but that didn’t stop him from opening his arms up for the next person. 

_ Message to Dean:  _ Sending one your way, said she needed a dad hug too. Her name is Emma.

Along with the text there was a small photo so Dean knew who to keep an eye out for, Jody must have been pretty worried if she talked the kid into a picture. 

Shortly after that Dean spotted her, waved and opened her arms, frowning when she ducked behind a building. 

Maybe she changed her mind? He guessed that was fair, he could wait her out though...he hoped.

Cas kissed the girl’s cheek he’d been hugging and waved her off. He turned to say something to his husband but found Dean craning his neck looking for something, “Did you lose one of our strays?” Cas asked fondly, tugging at Dean’s shirt.

“Sort of…” he said, unable to shake the feeling that he was waiting for her to come back. There were plenty of other people who craved acceptance and he had a job to do. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, dropping a quick kiss to Cas lips.

Cas bit his lip but nodded, trusting that Dean would tell him if it were something serious. They continued for a bit longer or up until Cas swayed a little, “Mmm, Dean. I need to eat,” he said softly. Dean and Benny would be upset with him for going so long without at least snacking on something but he couldn’t tear himself away.

Expecting something as much, Dean pulled a protein bar out of the side pocket of Cas’ backpack and quickly opened it before pushing it into his husband’s mouth. “There, that will do you til we get back to the restaurant and you can have actual food.” 

“Ben? Yo! Benny!!” Dean said, calling out because his friend couldn’t hear him the first time, the sounds of the parade could be deafening on the street, but thankfully the guy turned toward him and headed closer. 

“I’m going to take Cas for actual food, you know how he gets…” 

“Oh you mean worrying about everyone else but himself to the point of starving? Yeah, sounds like our Cas,” Benny snorted.

Cas blushed but continued to munch on the protein bar. Dean was always prepared for things like that, knowing all too well just how forgetful Cas could be.

“Oh hey, keep an eye out for this girl…” Dean said, holding up the picture on his phone. “If you see her, tell her we will be back soon or just send or bring her to the restaurant. Jody said she was looking for us.” 

Benny took the phone to look at the picture and nodded, “Will do Dean-o, now get the little prince something before he faints,” he teased.

“You’re such an ass,” Cas pouted but let Dean pick him up all the same. He could walk, his legs worked perfectly fine but Cas could easily admit just how much he enjoyed Dean carrying him for any reason.

“I love you,” Cas sighed, kissing at Dean’s jaw.

“I love you too, you giant dork.” Dean easily carried him back to the restaurant, even with the crowds, they seemed to part for them, probably because Cas was freaking adorable.

* * *

Once they were inside, Dean sat him down on the counter of the bar. He made sure Cas had something to drink before he left him there, going in the back to throw together a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Not exactly  _ cuisine _ but when he felt light headed and overly emotional, Cas always preferred the classics. 

Dean heard the door open and sighed, “Get your ass back here before you faint-oh, sorry… I thought you were him-he was you-he was trying to make a break for it.” 

Emma swallowed, they were both there, standing in front of her and now she had no idea what to say or do, but she knew once she saw them both slip into the shop she wouldn't have a better chance. 

“Hi.” 

Cas quickly swallowed the sip of juice he had in his mouth and smiled brightly at the girl, “Hello. I’m Cas and this is my husband Dean,” he said.

“Oh sorry, I-I’m Emma…” 

“You’re the one that was talking to Jody right? She said something about you needing a dad hug? Well there’s two of us right here so take your pick,” Dean said, trying for his smile to be easy going but for some reason he felt a flutter of nerves in his stomach that he didn’t understand. 

“Oh yes, yeah- sorry.” 

“You know I hear that a lot but you ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for,” Dean said, moving around the counter to hold out his arms. Cas was more than capable of hugging the girl but Dean didn’t want him moving off the bar unless absolutely necessary.    
  


Emma stared up at the man coming closer to her, the fantasy that had played in her head for so long was now a reality and she was scared. Scared that the moment he hugged her, everything would shatter and she would wake up on the street alone again. Warmth surrounded her, the scent of peanut butter and something earthy filled her nose and the next thing she knew she was hugging around Dean so tightly she felt as if her arms would fall off.

Cas watched this from the counter and felt….something. It wasn’t his dizziness, no, this was something entirely different. When Emma’s eyes met his over Dean’s shoulder, a memory he’d spent years repressing slammed into him, causing him to drop the glass in his hand.

_ “Dean...tell me we’re doing the right thing?” Cas asked, his bottom lip trembling as the tears refused to stop falling. _

_ “Cas, I can’t tell you anything. All I know is that if we walk out of here with this kid, it’s not going to have much of a life. We’re barely keeping ourselves together and even that is shaky sometimes, I don’t want to do it either but maybe what’s out there...is better than what’s in here.”  _

_ Cas nodded miserably and clung onto Dean’s shirt. The nurse came in, practically tore their baby from their arms and Cas watched with a shattering heart as Dean first signed the papers. Cas was trembling as he took the clipboard, his hand hesitating where he should be signing next to Dean’s name. _

_ “Ma’am? Will you please sign the paper?” the nurse sighed. _

_ “Out, get the fuck out. He’s told you a hundred times he’s a dude and so help me god you refer to him as anything else before we walk out of here there will be hell to pay,” Dean shouted, half pushing the woman out with his clunky steps.  _

_ When she reached for the small bassinet, Dean let out a low growl that felt as if it vibrated the floor. “Until those papers are signed, the baby stays with us bitch.”  _

_ “I’m going to call security,” the nurse spat and turned on her heel to rush out of the room. _

_ Cas had never felt more disgusted with himself. It had truly been an accident. Dean wore a condom, Cas had been on birth control. Granted, it was the cheapest they could afford and the condom could have very easily been expired. The moment they had found out Cas was pregnant though had been beautiful and soul shattering all in the same second. Many thought and accused Dean of a lot of horrible things, one being he was ashamed that his boyfriend was pregnant and that was why they were giving her up for adoption. That was so far beyond the truth. They’d talked for hours until they were both exhausted and came up with the same solution. They just couldn’t possibly take care of another human being at the moment.  _

_ “I want to hold her...just...just for a few more minutes,” Cas whispered, grateful when Dean brought her over without comment. He held her to his chest until actual security guards came into the room, demanding they hand her over and Cas sign the papers. _

_ “Hey look, I don’t know what that lady told you but I know we have rights, well maybe I don’t because I signed already but he sure as hell does,” Dean barked. “And if he wants to hold her for the next forty eight hours there’s not a damn thing any of you can do about it or I will call a lawyer, I’m pretty sure they’d be happy to help a poor postpartum teenager against the big bad medical hospital.”  _

_ “Dean...Dean it’s okay,” Cas said, pressing another kiss to his baby before reluctantly handing her over to the nurse. Thankfully, it was a different one who was much kinder and gently held the clipboard for Cas to sign. _

_ “I’m so sorry, for the both of you. You can stay in the room for as long as you need, I’ll make sure no one bothers you,” she said with a tight lipped smile. _

_ Cas watched them all leave and rolled over onto his side to cry heavily into his pillow. _

_ Dean slipped out of his shoes and crawled onto the bed, holding the love of his life in his arms as they both sobbed over the loss they felt before the ink even dried on the page.  _

“You okay, Sweetheart?” Dean asked, looking up at his husband in concern. Cas had completely spaced out while he was hugging Emma. 

Cas wasn’t aware of the color that had drained from his face or the tear that had fell from his eye until he felt something warm brushing it away. He kept staring at the girl...at Emma and she was looking back at him with such a knowing stare it was unnerving. 

“I-I don’t know,” Cas whispered.

“Well I kinda need to know, babe. Just-just give me a second I’ll go get your food…” Dean said, running back to the kitchen to grab the plates before rushing back to the front as quickly as he could without worrying about dropping the plate. 

“Here eat somethin-” 

Emma continued to gawk at the two men, her heart thumping in her chest. Cas was looking at her with so much pain in his eyes, could he possibly know the truth? Dean fussed over Cas until he finally ate a few bites but then placed the plate on the counter next to him.

“Why do I feel like I know you?” Cas whispered as he slipped off the counter to get closer to Emma.

Dean stared at both his husband and the girl in confusion. Sure...he’d felt something just slightly  _ different _ when he’d hugged her but nothing too out of the ordinary. 

Emma chewed at her lip, she hadn’t planned to say anything. Actually, she’d been dead set against it but with those familiar big blue eyes staring back at her she couldn’t help but start to reason all her concerns away. Surely they wouldn’t reject her twice...surely the fact that they were supportive and hugging people meant they could be trusted. Surely- _ It’s different when it’s your own kid. They didn’t want you before, probably still don’t.  _

Dean watched something happen within the girl, something that looked painfully familiar and he gasped. 

“Holy shit… Are you? Are you her?” 

“If her is the daughter you gave away fifteen and a half years ago? That would be a yeah,” she said, swallowing hard around the massive lump in her throat. 

Cas staggered forward off the bar ,a sob breaking out of his throat, “Oh...oh God,” he groaned covering his mouth. His daughter, their daughter was standing right in front of them. How this was even possible went beyond Cas’s understanding but he was not going to let this gift get away.

“I-I am so sorry Emma. You must...you must  _ hate _ me,” he said but opened his arms anyway, praying that she would hug him just as much as she’d hugged Dean.

“No-no I-I don’t hate anyone,” she said, trying to make that clear. She moved into the hug quickly, not wanting to lose the opportunity. Once she was there she felt just as much safety and warmth as she’d gotten from Dean. Softly, through the crazy emotions that were swirling in her stomach, she whispered, “I just-I didn’t want to interfere.”

Dean had to lean against the bar to keep himself upright as he realized he was standing there, staring at his babygirl. She was taller than he expected, of course she was...it had been fifteen years but she’d grown like a damn weed. Must take after her uncle Sammy. Part of him wanted to break down, most of him knew he had to keep it together, Cas would need him. 

Cas held Emma tightly and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep it back. Deep, heaving sobs escaped past his lips, “I-I can’t believe this,” he managed to get out, pulling away so he could gaze into her face. God she looked like a mini Dean but her eyes were his familiar shade of blue. She was absolutely gorgeous and Cas made sure to tell her so over and over again until her cheeks were a little pink.

“I don’t know if this will help or...make things worse but we didn’t want to give you away sweetheart. We loved you the moment we found out about you,” he whispered, one hand reaching out without looking for Dean.

“We were still teenagers ourselves, living on the street- we didn’t have any way to provide a home for you, I-I’m sorry,” Dean offered, though he knew it was much too little too late. 

“It’s okay, really. I had-have a good life,” she said, though it was only partially true at the moment. Lydia wasn’t much of a mother even in the early years but when her adoptive dad passed away, thats-that’s when things got bad. Lydia started dragging her to church whenever they had service, a different church each night if that’s what it took. Emma guessed her mother thought she could be forgiven if she never left the building or something. 

Then… a week ago, there had been the kiss, the kiss that got her thrown out of the only home she’d ever known in a single breath. 

“Oh wow that’s weird...you’re lying and I almost don’t want to call you out on it but I know what I look like when I lie, and damn if you didn’t do it exactly the same way.”

Dean gave her a second to react before shaking his head, “So what’s really going on kid?” 

“Dean!” Cas hissed out, “Why don’t you make another stack of sandwiches,” he said giving his husband the  _ look _ before gently guiding Emma to a booth, “Don’t mind him. He can be a pain but he’s one of the most caring, sweetest men alive,” Cas said with a soft smile.

“Fine, but don’t think I don’t know that you’re using my weakness against me and you can bet on some payback!” Dean called out as he made his way back to the kitchen trying desperately not to freak the fuck out. 

Emma chewed her lip, “He-he’s not wrong, though…” 

Cas smiled a little, “I know. I also know what Dean’s face looks like when he’s lying. Granted, he’s only pulled that face on me a few times before learning better,” he laughed and shook his head as he glanced over at the doors leading into the kitchen, “He also needs a few seconds to himself. I know you just barely met us but you can talk to us, about anything,” he said.

“Everything was really good for a while. I had a mom who worked a lot but my dad-my other dad? was really cool. He used to play games with me, take me places, teach me things. It was a normal picket fence life. Then he died and everything changed,” she said, looking down, unable to face the man in front of her. “Then my mom got crazy religious, like  _ super _ religious, and the next thing I know, Becca Roberts is sitting on my bed hanging out and then she kisses me and then my mom walks in and before I could even say a word, she threw me out...that was about two weeks ago.” 

Cas cursed under his breath and quickly moved to sit next to Emma in the booth so he could pull her into another hug. His heart ached that his own daughter, his own fucking daughter had to go through the same thing him and Dean had to. It made him furious but there was a small part of him that was steadily growing stronger that was grateful for the mere fact that one, it had only been weeks for Emma when it had been years for him and Dean. And two, it had brought her to them. 

He kissed at Emma’s forehead just as Dean came back in the dining room and Cas sat back as Emma nearly devoured the plate of sandwiches. Cas quickly filled Dean in and soon it was three of them squished into one side of the booth.

“So you’ll stay with us, obviously…” Dean said, without question to which his husband quickly butted in.

Cas jerked back a bit, “If...if that’s something you want of course,” he said quickly and giving Dean the look again. His husband merely shrugged at him and Cas sighed.

“You...you would want that?” Emma asked, her eyes growing wide as she stared at the two of them. 

“Absolutely, we have a house now...a decent life,” Dean answered quickly. “If we had thought even for a second that you were unhappy we’d have hunted you down right then. We just, we figured you were better off with the parents you had.”

Emma chewed on her lip, “Things were good before my dad passed away,” she said and sniffled a little. 

Cas kissed at her temple and looked up at Dean, “Her mom found her with another girl and kicked her out,” he finished for her.

“Well we’re never going to be what he was to you and we’re not going to try but three dads are better than one, right?” He asked, trying for a goofy grin but only just getting an awkward something.

Emma laughed a little and nodded, “Thank you, for not trying to replace him. And yeah, three dads sounds amazing,” she said and snuggled into Dean’s side. 

Cas swallowed hard and wiped at his face a little harshly, “I um...I need a minute,” he said and moved out of the booth. He gave the two of them a reassuring smile as he hurried into the back of the restaurant. It was all too much. He’d had dreams of this moment years ago. That they would find their daughter. In one she was just like Emma now, accepting and forgiving. In another she was the complete opposite, including not being able to handle that he was transgender. 

Emma watched as Cas fled the room and glanced up at Dean, “Is he okay?”

He shrugged, not really knowing what else to do. “It’s a lot to process. The whole pregnancy and then adoption thing...it nearly killed him, both of us really.” 

“I know we’ve already said this but you should know Emma that we-we never  _ wanted _ to give you up, we just imagined a better life for you than living on the streets with two incompetent teenagers for parents,” Dean promised, “We were about twenty two when we finally got a place, and that was really only thanks to my kid brother who started tracking me the minute he turned eighteen.”

“We didn’t live an easy life, neither of us though I suspect Cas had it much worse than I did. Being bi-I was able to play it straight for a while, long enough to throw the ol’ man off my scent until I was sixteen at least,” Dean swallowed, “Then he set a trap for me, I should have known better really but one off his old army buddies started paying closer attention to me, and I fell for it hook line and sinker. John Winchester was not exactly understanding about well anything that went against what he believed but needless to say he thought I was just hiding my gay away by dating Lisa, Pam, and any other girl he happened to see on my arm.” 

Emma frowned, “Sounds like a jerk,” she said, shaking her head. Her mom had been a bitch but nothing compared to what Dean’s dad had done to him. If Dean was right and Cas had it worse...Emma’s throat tightened and she looked back to the door again, “How long before you found each other?” she asked softly.

“It was a little bit longer for me, I hitchhiked my way from Kansas to New York because I’d heard they were more accepting here…” Dean said, swallowing at the memory of exactly what he’d done to get to where they were. While there was nothing that he’d hide from Cas he wasn’t exactly sure Emma needed all the gory details. “Cas’ family was here actually...on vacation, when they reached their breaking point I guess. They just left him here like he was a lost bag at the airport as they all went back to Illinois. His bitch of a mom just sold his return flight ticket and told him he was welcome to stay here with the other trash until he changed his mind.” 

“Oh my God,” Emma hissed, covering her mouth. Cas seemed like such a nice guy, it made her nauseous to think anyone could do that to their child.

They talked a little more about the past but Emma wanted to change it to something a little brighter. 

“How did you meet?” she asked, extremely curious to know how it happened and how they managed to get where they were today.

“Oh, now that’s something,” Dean answered, remembering the first time he’d seen those big blue eyes. 

_ “Hand over the money.”  _

_ “I-I don’t have any money-”  _

_ “Bullshit, I know what rich people clothes look like, I’m not buying the street rat angle, Princess.”  _

_ Dean watched as the kid scrambled through their pockets and wallet to show there was nothing there.  _

_ “Any of these cards got money on em’ maybe you can go with me, we can make a nice little withdrawal.”  _

_ Cas tried to make himself seem smaller, pressing himself further against the wall as the creep got too close to him, “M-my mother already canceled them, there’s nothing on them,” he stammered, flinching when the guy snatched his wallet out of his hands.  _

_ “Hey Rocky? Is that you man?” Dean said, moving closer to the man with the knife, carefully placing himself between the mugger and his victim. “I thought the city picked you up on Wednesday when they emptied out the other dumpsters.”  _

_ “Aw, isn’t it pretty mouth Winchester. Get lost bitch, this one is mine,” Rocky laughed, grabbing at the kid’s arm. _

_ “Oh c’mon Rocky, no need to be so...forceful,” Dean grinned, running a teasing finger down the gross man’s arm barely holding back the urge to be sick. But it did what he’d hoped, which was made the man drop the arm clutched in his hand and step back a bit. “That’s a good boy, don’t worry I’m gonna take real good care of you…” Dean lied, waiting until they were closer to the wall lining the street before he forced his palm upward and shoved Rocky’s head back into the hard brick. _

_ He was still breathing, but thankfully knocked out. Still...it wouldn’t be long before the asshole woke back up.  _

_ “Run!” he said, grabbing at the person’s hand until they were both changing streets rapidly until they were safely out of harm’s way.  _

_ “You okay?” he asked, once he finally caught his breath.  _

_ Cas nodded eagerly, his voice caught in his throat as the guy who saved him still clutched at his hand. Whoever this was, they’d been the nicest to Cas and he knew that it always came with a price. He cleared his throat and ducked his head down. _

_ “I-I have nothing to repay you and I’m...I’m not very good at-” _

_ “Woah there sweetheart, I’m not askin’ for nothin’ though you’re cute as hell.” Dean grinned, shaking his head. “Rocky is a predator, this was just...well if it wasn’t you, it’d have been someone else.”  _

_ Dean dropped the hand he was holding,realizing maybe it was sending the wrong message. “Of course, he stopped fucking with me when I tried to bite the head of his dick off, good times.”  _

_ Cas laughed softly, pushing back some of his hair that had been getting much too long lately. He had last gotten it cut over six months ago, sending his mother into hysterics, banning him from leaving the house by himself. Now it was down to his shoulders and he hated it.  _

_ “Thank you...for helping me,” he whispered, wringing his hands together.  _

_ “Sure. no problem kid. You got a place to stay?” Dean asked, something small and warm in his chest spurring him forward.  _

_ Cas’s eyes teared up and he shook his head, “N-No, I don’t. I was trying to stay at the men’s shelter but they threw me…” Cas squeezed his eyes shut and winced at the pain in his chest from wearing the ace bandage for too long, “They threw me out a few days ago.” _

_ “Ah yeah they can be real dicks over there,” Dean answered, “Well you can come with me if you like, it’s not much but we’ve got a little place over by the bridge where you can keep warm and get some rest if you need it. Free of charge, nobody will hurt you there.”  _

_ “Really?” Cas asked, a flare of hope spurring in his heart, “Even...even someone like me?” he asked just above a whisper. It would have been safer keeping this part of him quiet but he learned hiding it away was just as dangerous. Like the man who’d caught him changing his shirt at the shelter. _

_ “Everyone’s welcome, you decide what you are and then tell people if you want, or don't. Either way, nobody’s gonna run you out.”  _

_ Cas swallowed hard and nodded, “Okay. I’m Casi….Cas...Cas Novak,” he said, quickly correcting himself as he held his hand out. _

_ “Alright, Cas. I’m Dean Winchester. Welcome to Twelfth Street Hell.”  _

“That’s probably more than you needed to know, but I’ll tell you one look at him and I was a goner. I didn’t care what was in his pants or under his shirt or anything else. I was a sucker for those big blue eyes and one smile from him felt like a damn rainbow in purgatory. It was somethin’ else.” 

Emma smiled, a warmth spreading through her at the story, “I’m glad you two found each other,” she said.

Cas wiped away the tears, he could hear Dean’s retelling of how they met. He had been so scared in that alley but much like Dean, one look into those damn green eyes and Cas was gone. Dean accepted him from the very first second and never once made Cas feel like he was a freak or misplaced. Even as friends Dean went out of his way to help Cas along. 

Cas came out of the kitchen with one of Dean’s specialty cakes and three forks, “I don’t know about you two but I need chocolate,” he laughed softly. 

“I never say no to cheesecake, and that one has a peanut butter cheesecake filling that will knock your damn socks off,” Dean promised, pointing toward the cake that Castiel had chosen. 

“Oh wow, that looks amazing,” Emma said her stomach grumbling rather loudly. Her two...dads, looked at her with fond knowing smiles and gave her a heaping peace. 

“You don’t have to eat it all in case you get sick,” Cas said with a wink and then gave a piece to Dean, then himself. They sat together, savoring the sweet desert quietly. Once they were done, Dean got up and took the plates back to the kitchen.

“Would you like to join us for the rest of the parade or would you rather stay here? Either way, we will be with you,” Cas said softly.

“I’d love to keep you all to myself but-” Emma said, looking up at both men. “But there are other people out there who need dad hugs.”

“She’s just like you,” Dean grinned, “Well...at least take some snacks this time and we have a few tumblers of cold water in the fridge, I’ll go grab them.” 

“Thank you,” Cas said, pulling Dean’s hand to his lips to kiss at his knuckles, “He’s too good to me sometimes,” he laughed, “Come on, I think I have some more rainbow accessories we can put on you if you would like them.”

“Uhh okay, sure...if you want to share,” Emma said, quickly agreeing. She would have worn a giant banner if either of them wanted her to, even if she wasn’t quite sure what it meant that she didn’t really feel anything from that kiss. If her fathers wanted her regardless of what she was, then she didn’t have to decide anything right away, right? 

She chewed at her lip and hesitated just a little when Cas presented her with a cute bracelet. It was gorgeous and she would happily wear it but before she’d even put it on, it began to feel like a weight on her wrist. “I um-I’m not actually sure that I’m lesbian...or not lesbian really. My mom-she might have uh jumped the gun a little. That was my first kiss and I didn’t really-I mean, it wasn’t my idea not that Becca did anything wrong I just-” 

Cas glanced over at Dean and then back at Emma, “It’s okay if you don’t know what or who you are just yet. Gender and Sexuality is fluid and can change in a heartbeat if that’s what your heart wants,” he said and cupped her face, “And even if you’re not lesbian, you can still celebrate Pride with us because you have two gay dads,” he laughed a little.

‘Okay, yeah...I’d like that,” she said, “I just didn’t want to feel like...like I was hiding something.” 

“That you get from him too, I’m very good at keeping secrets,” Dean grinned, though he knew Cas would call him on it. They didn’t hide anything from one another, especially when it mattered. “You don’t have to be anything or anyone you don’t want to be. We are going to love you regardless, Emma. Always.” 

“What he said,” Cas smiled and hugged Emma close before letting her go to take Dean’s hand. Cas watched the two exit out of the restaurant without him, needing another brief second to himself and then he was jogging after them.

* * *

Cas hugged what seemed like a thousand people that day, each breaking and stitching his heart up all over again. It made him proud to see Emma offering hugs, calling them “Lost Sibling Hugs” or something. Cas knew they were going to have to make a shirt just for her because mom and dad hugs were great all in their own but siblings hugs were just as important. Cas knew that from experience. 

Benny grabbed one of the self-made confetti poppers and let out a shout before pulling the string. They were once again covered and Cas shouted along with everyone else. Like Dean had predicted, they had a small group with them that were going to come to the restaurant, including their own daughter. Benny had damn near choked on his tongue when they had told him, Benny being the only person he and Dean trusted back in the day. No one else had known Cas was pregnant, keeping his belly hidden with huge jackets. Benny had protected him when Dean couldn’t be there, so even though they didn’t come back with her, Cas and Dean silently agreed that Benny would have been her godfather.

Something Cas was leaving the honor for Dean to tell their teddy bear best friend. 

“Alright, let's start heading to the restaurant!” Cas called out.

“Move it out people, if you want food tonight Benny and I need to get in the kitchen,” Dean teased, making sure to send a text out to the group message that they shared with the ‘family’ which was really just a long line of people they’d picked up over the years. 

_ Message to Found Family: _ Heading back to cook, dinner will be ready in a bit. If you want it hot, you better be waiting for it.

_ Message to Found Family: _ If we’re short on dessert blame Cas. 

“Dean!” Cas shouted when he read the message. He grabbed a handful of glitter and chased after his husband, throwing it at him.

Benny snorted and playfully bumped Emma with his elbow, “You sure you want that?” he teased.

“Very,” she agreed with a smile and a quick nod. “Actually, I’m kinda surprised they wanted  _ me _ . It must have been so hard on them, going through all that...I-Not many people would be too happy with a long lost kid standing on their doorstep.” 

“Maybe,” Benny said and then sighed, looking at his two stupid best friends who still made him laugh to this day, “But Cas and Dean are different. Givin you up was one of the hardest things those two ever did, almost nearly killed Cas,” he said softly.

“They told me, I just hope me being here, that it helps make them better, y’know? I don’t want to bring them any more pain,” Emma answered, smiling fondly as her dads chased one another across the street where Benny guided her with his offered arm, like a proper gentleman. It was adorable. 

“Oh cher, you’ve already made things better for them,” Benny laughed softly. 

Cas finally dodged Dean enough to spin around and then jump up on Dean’s back, “Okay, I’m tired now,” he giggled, kissing at Dean’s neck.

“So I’m just supposed to carry you around all the time now, huh? I’m not as young as I used to be,” Dean teased, though he hiked Cas’ legs up a little higher to make sure he was more secure against his back. 

“Yes, cause you’re my knight in shining armor and I’m your little prince,” Cas laughed, his cheeks heating up at how ridiculous it sounded coming out of his own mouth. He glanced back to make sure Emma was close and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw her with Benny.

Benny laughed, “You’re dad really isn’t  _ that _ much of a damsel. He just...forgets to take care of himself sometimes and we play it off that your dad is too much of a snob to walk on his own,” Benny explained.

“It’s a lot, pride and the parade, what  _ they _ do for people. I can see why he gets tired,” Emma said, she felt pretty exhausted herself and she’d only done it for a few hours. 

“Your dad, well both of them honestly, have given back so much to the community. Every morning they open the restaurant as a soup kitchen kinda deal. Weekends too. They even got a pay it forward program which was Dean’s idea though he’ll say it was Cas’,” Benny snorted, “Not to mention the little strays they tend to adopt into our wayward family,” he further explained, pointing at Aiden, Hael, and two others he got to “pick up” was Claire and her girlfriend Kaia.

“They’re good people huh? I-I’m not sure I can live up to that kind of legacy but I’m willing to try,” Emma said, looking around at the growing number of people who seemed to be filing into the previously emptied restaurant. “And these people, they’re all family?’ 

“Well not  _ literally _ of course, but yeah. You’ve got one hell of a Spanish Inquisition to go through, you ready, sweetheart?” Dean asked, smiling at his daughter.  _ His daughter _ . He still couldn’t believe that she was standing right there in front of them. 

“He’s kidding,” Cas said quickly, noticing the way Emma was starting to shy away. God she was so much like him it was killing him. She got all her physical features from Dean, that was for damn sure. Cas slid off Dean’s back and playfully pushed him towards the kitchen, “You too mister,” he said pointing at Benny. Once the two men disappeared, Cas gently took Emma’s hand to get her away from the curious eyes.

“Everyone will be curious about you, especially since no one knew I was even pregnant,” Cas said swallowing hard, forcing himself to continue, “If you want, for now you can be like the others, someone who wanted to join dinner. We can tell them slowly so you’re not overwhelmed. Or, we can just rip the bandaid off now,” he said.

Emma chewed her lip and thought briefly about taking her time and slowly ebbing toward the deep end but really, drawing it out certainly wasn’t going to make it any less nerve wracking. 

“I-I don’t think I want to hide anymore. I don’t know exactly  _ what _ I’ve been hiding but I’ve known that I wasn’t like other people for a long time and you said I could be anyone or anything so I want to be open and honest, like you and Dean.” 

Cas swallowed hard and quickly brushed away the tear that fell, “I was hoping you’d say that, I wanted to proudly introduce my daughter to some of the most important people in my life,” he said and kissed her forehead, “You ready?”

Emma nodded, and then drew in one, long, unsteady breath. “I’m ready.” 

Cas nodded and lead her back into the main dining area. A lot of their family were calling out, asking who the new girl was and Cas shushed them. He peaked in through swinging door to bring Dean back out and soon he was standing on one of the booth seats, Dean’s hands on his waist to steady him.

“I know this will come as a huge shock but...back when Dean and I were fifteen and sixteen, I got pregnant,” he said.

“Congratulations!” Garth called out from the back, smiling warmly at his friends.

Cas snorted, “Uh...thank you Garth,” he said clearing his throat, “Um...well, we had to…”

“You put the baby up for adoption,” Ellen said sadly. There was a thud and she looked over to see Garth completely deflated. Jo quickly wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

“We had to. The state we were in, there was no way we could care for her,” Cas explained, guilt tearing through him again. He looked down at Emma and smiled, “Somehow, the beautiful baby girl we had to give up, found us today,” he said.

“Hi...I’m Emma,” she said, with a small wave. 

“We’ve only known her a couple hours and already, she’s just like Cas...so y’know, watch your dessert plates carefully,” Dean grinned, earning a nudge in the ribs from both Cas and Emma.

“Hey-ow!” 

“Oh man, we got a mini Cas!” Benny hollered from the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry you have to be subjected to this,” Cas laughed.

“Just ignore them, they’re all ridiculous,” Ellen said moving over. She wanted to stay wary, to question the girl until she was a hundred percent sure that this she was exactly who she claimed. Then those eyes met hers and she knew. There was no way to copy Cas’s curious expression to a tee and even the head tilt. Ellen’s heart damn near exploded as she hugged the girl, “Welcome to the family sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank-thank you,” Emma said, accepting the hug easily after a full day of them. She’d gotten used to not receiving much attention or hugs or familial touches when her father passed away. Yet in one single day she’d probably had more of them than in the entire last few years of her life.

After the woman Cas introduced as Ellen, they all seemed to line up, even Benny came out and gave her another hug. It was somewhat ridiculous but it also made her feel more loved, more welcome than anything she’d known before. It wasn’t just that she was theirs and they were standing by her, but they  _ wanted _ her there and that made all the difference. 

Cas was once again a mess and had to run away into the kitchen, this time though, Dean followed. He leaned up against Dean’s chest, his face buried in his shirt, “There are not enough words in my vocabulary to express how I’m feeling,” he muttered.

“That’s okay, not everything has to be said, Cas.” 

Dean held his husband just a little tighter. “You remember that night, the first night down by the water? The summer heat and you were...fuck you were gorgeous Cas. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” 

Cas squeezed his eyes shut, “That’s when I knew I loved you. We barely knew each other but I fell in love with you right then. You looked at me like no one else had and I hadn’t even had my surgery yet and my hair hadn’t been cut in so long,” he sniffled.

“You have always been perfect and you will always be perfect to me,” Dean promised, pulling Cas’ face up with his thumb until he could gently tease at his lips. “If tomorrow you decided you wanted to be something else, someone else, I would still love you just as much.” 

“I love you so much Dean Winchester,” Cas said softly, turning his head to kiss the inside of Dean’s palm, “Do I show you that enough?” he asked. It was a constant worry of his. Dean showed how much he loved him every day and in the smallest of ways, including carrying something for Cas to snack on later because he can’t remember to feed himself.

“Every time you smile, sweetheart. Every time you smile.” 

* * *

“First things first, don’t judge us both based on Cas’ car decision because that’s just not fair to my baby,” Dean started as he locked up the restaurant door behind him. Their family insisted on cleaning up so that he and Benny actually had time to eat a meal and it was well beyond dark when they finally closed the doors. The tables were more filled every year and pretty soon they’d have to build on a second story or buy a new building if they expected all their extended family in one place. The main core of them ate together at least once a week but the others spread out so that it wasn’t so jam packed all the time. 

“Secondly, there is a guest room but it hasn’t been cleaned out in a while so you might want to camp on the couch until we get it aired out and the bedding washed.” 

“And the couch is very comfortable, well, from what Dean tells me,” Cas teased.

Emma snorted, “Aw, has he made you sleep on it a few times?” she asked.

“Not often, but sometimes in the summer he is clingy like an octopus and I hate waking up like a sweaty mess so he leaves me no choice really,” Dean teased, locking his hand with Cas’ as they made their way toward the small back area where they’d parked. 

“I really can’t help it,” Cas pouted.

“That’s cute, both of you are too sweet I think I might need to see a dentist soon,” Emma laughed.

“Well not that I have any practice but my understanding has always been that parents are supposed to embarrass their kids, so consider this our training wheels.” Dean answered, opening the door for her to climb into the back seat. 

“Again, I cannot stress this enough...this is  _ not _ my car.”

“Oh would you shush, my car is perfectly fine!” Cas groaned and climbed in on the driver side, “Dean is selfless with anything and everything except for one, his damn car,” he laughed, ignoring the glare Dean was giving him.

“Well, I can’t wait to see it, maybe...maybe you can teach me how to drive?” Emma asked biting her lip and batting her eyelashes when that glare was turned to her.

“Yeah, fine. You don’t need to know how to drive much in the city but I can take you upstate on the weekends a few times and let Benny and Alfie handle the restaurant.” Dean grumbled to himself about puppy eyes being hereditary, but he agreed quickly and felt himself excited by the prospect. He’d thought he’d teach Sammy how to drive one day but that ship sailed before Sam was able to find him, so teaching Emma would be...wow, it would be wonderful. 

Cas caught the soft look on Dean’s face and made a mental not to let everyone in the family know to not even think about teaching Emma how to drive. Bobby could easily get a random hair up his ass to teach Emma like he had done with Sam. No, he would not let this be taken away from Dean. 

“I bet, if you’re willing Emma, Dean can teach you how to repair Baby too,” Cas said.

“Baby?”

“Mmhmm, Baby is the name of the most magnificent car in all creation,” Cas laughed softly. 

“I don't think I like your tone, Mister!” Dean balked, gaping openly as his husband started the car and rolled his eyes. “Baby  _ IS  _ the most precious and most magnificent car in all of creation.” 

“You can basically consider her your younger sister at this point,” Cas snorted, yelping when Dean pinched him, “Hey! I’m driving!” 

Emma sat back watching her two dads playfully argue and couldn’t help the ear to ear smile stretching her lips. It almost hurt how much she was smiling. 

“Well if you wanna get technical,  _ Baby  _ was here first so…” Dean teased, though he threw a smile over his shoulder so Emma would know he was teasing her. 

Cas rolled his eyes, “I’m not saying anything,” he said. They spent the rest of the ride home playfully bickering at each other, Emma throwing in a few in herself. 

“Oh wow,” Emma said when the garage opened, revealing a sleek black muscle car. It really was beautiful. She scrambled out of the car to hurry over to it.

“And that’s all you,” Cas said giving his husband a cheeky smile.

“Well she had to get her good taste  _ somewhere _ ,” Dean teased, kissing softly at Cas’ lips as he excitedly ran around the car to open the driver’s side door. 

Just as Emma was about to climb in Dean held up his hand, “Aht Aht, Do you have a license young lady?” 

Emma pouted, “No...I wasn’t allowed,” she said, quickly waving her hands. They were having such a great time and she was about to share a moment with one of her dads. She didn’t want to talk about what her mother had done to her. Before he could ask, she rushed over to the passenger side and crawled in.

“I was kidding-” Dean mumbled softly to himself, he’d have to remember that for the future. She obviously had some damage of her own. He closed his eyes and held back a curse. 

He fluidly sat behind the wheel, forcing a smile to his face that didn’t have to be forced long, Emma’s hand was reverently running over the smooth dashboard of his pride and joy. Well his  _ other _ pride and joy. 

“I’ll let you behind the wheel soon but we’re gonna practice in something that isn’t as important,” Dean said, pausing just for a moment to look out the windshield with a grin. “We can take Cas’ car.” 

Emma giggled, “That’s so mean!” she said, shaking her head. Cas turned to look at them for a moment as if he heard them but then continued on with going inside.

“His car isn’t  _ that _ bad, I mean it’s no beast,” she said.

“It’s a clown car on crack, but whatever...he likes it, that’s all that matters,” Dean said, “Plus, I mostly just say that stuff to get a rise out of him. I checked it out, it’s one of the safest things around to drive and I keep it maintained for him so I don’t have to worry if he’s going to have a flat tire or his engine is going to go out in the middle of rush hour traffic. It’s our thing.” 

Emma smiled, “He was right about you. You are one giant softie,” she giggled, “You really love him.”

“Well yeah, I owe him my life, and a helluva lot more.”

Dean brushed his shoulder against Emma’s and smiled softly out the window to the steps leading up to their little house. It wasn’t a huge mansion but it was more than enough space for the two of them and that had been more than they ever imagined they’d have. 

_ “One day we’re going to get out of here and I’m going to rent a cozy little one bedroom apartment where I can keep you safe, you and-keep us safe.” Dean said, his breath hitching in the winter breeze as he wrapped every blanket he could find around the three of them.  _

_ Cas shivered hard though he was trying to hide just how cold he was. Dean was trying so hard to keep the chill out, so much so he got sick a few days ago. Everytime Cas thought they were getting somewhere, something would smash it all to pieces. He still hated himself that he’d stupidly walked with the cash in his pocket. Most days, he didn’t understand why Dean stayed with him. _

_ Dean’s arms wrapped around him and Cas pushed away the guilt just enough to snuggle into the new warmth, “T-Tell me more,” Cas whispered. _

_ “It’ll have a door with locks and we’ll e-each have a key,” Dean promised, “I’ll have to give Benny one too though, because you’ll lose yours all the time.” _

_ He held Cas tighter. “We’ll start off with used appliances and furniture, anything we can get that’s working and isn’t infested, we don’t need the Ritz Carlton when we’re used to this,” Dean said, huffing out a small laugh as the cold ate at his face. “But we’ll both have jobs, you can work at a bookstore or a bank or something and I could be a bus boy or a fry cook or both, it would be enough that we could eat three meals every day and put just a little away and slowly but surely trade everything out for better stuff until we have a whole new place you can design any way you want.”  _

_ Cas closed his eyes and tried to not cry as his emotions went crazy, “P-Promise that this will happen someday?” he asked, his voice small and so quiet it nearly got lost in the wind. His fingers were frozen as he clutched Dean’s arms tighter around himself. _

_ “I promise you I will do everything I can to make this happen for you sweetheart. Every day, for the rest of my life.”  _

* * *

  
  


Cas opened the garage door and leaned against it as he watched Dean and Emma talk in the car. It took a few minutes for them to see him.

“It’s getting late,” he called out. The two of them eased out of the car and Dean gave him a sheepish smile.

‘I’m sorry, it’s my fault-” Emma started but Cas quickly interrupted.

“When it comes to the car, it’s no one’s fault but Dean’s.” Cas gave her a little wink and then smiled up at his ridiculous husband.

“Hey I was perfectly innocent!” Dean called out, chasing the dork up the stairs to the kitchen. It was the only room he’d put up a fight for, not that Cas cared. Still, they decorated it together; where as the entire rest of their small house was completely designed and decorated to his Cas’ heart’s desire. 

He turned to the garage door and grinned, “What are you waiting for? Welcome home Emma!”

Emma bit her lip and nodded, hurrying inside. It was much smaller than the house she lived in with her mother but this one...this felt like home. She let out a stilted breath and easily went to Cas who had his arm open for her. He lead her through the house, showing her around and ultimately to the guest room.

“Now, like Dean said, the room is not suitable for you yet. You can decorate it however you want,” Cas explained.

“Would that be okay with him too?” Emma asked.

Cas snorted, “Of course. Dean only truly cares about the kitchen and the garage. As long as we’re happy, he won’t care about anything else,” he said, gently pushing some hair past Emma’s shoulder. He continued to show her around, though the backyard would have to wait until morning. 

“The couch really is very comfortable, let me get you some blankets,” Cas said and scurried off.

“There  _ is _ a reason I call him Bee sometimes,” Dean grinned. “He just gets a bit buzzy when he’s nervous, it’ll wear off...I think” 

Emma smiled and sank down on the couch. “It really is comfortable,” she said, her eyes suddenly becoming droopy. She wasn’t aware of Dean helping her to lay down, her shoes being pulled off and then a blanket being draped over her.

“She’s so beautiful Dean,” Cas whispered, leaning down to kiss Emma’s temple.

“Yeah, I can’t believe she’s gotten so big, Cas,” he paused, looking down at their fifteen year old daughter. “We missed a lot of it, sure. But being here now...well, it’s not nothing,” he said, squeezing the hand of his husband who had shifted in against his side and was clinging to him. 

Cas nodded, “C’mon,” he said, pulling Dean towards their bedroom, “Shower with me?” he asked with a little smile.

“You know I never say no to the opportunity to get you naked,” Dean grinned, as he let himself be towed down the hall. 

Cas laughed softly and didn’t stop walking until they were in the bathroom where they slowly took each other’s clothes off. Dean touched at his faded scars on his chest and Cas bit his lip.

_ He could do this. Dean wouldn’t think him ugly, not now. Not after everything they had gone through and then some.  _

_ Cas swallowed hard and poked his head out of the bathroom door, “D-Dean?” he called out. _

_ “You okay?” Dean asked, rushing in. Cas had only been out of the hospital a few days and he wanted to do everything he could to make sure his recovery went as smoothly as possible. It had been a week full of nothing but stress for him, not that it had been any easier on Cas. Gods knew, he’d had it much much worse. “You need me to get you anything?”  _

_ “I...well, I need help rewrapping my bandages,” Cas asked, looking down at the ground. _

_ “Oh sure, that’s-I can do that,” Dean said, moving to the counter of their crappy one room apartment where he’d laid the pharmacy bags.  _

_ “Do you uh, are you sure you want me to do this?” he asked hesitantly, he could see something different in Cas’ eyes and he didn’t want to push any boundaries.  _

_ Cas looked up into Dean’s eyes and saw nothing but concern there. It helped Cas to breathe easier as he reached out for Dean’s hand, “Yes, I trust you,” he said softly. _

_ “Okay, okay...let’s do this,” he said, faking a small smile. Gently he wiped the water away from the wounds and then got to work wrapping them just as the nurse had taught him. He wasn’t sure Cas would want him to help but fuck if he wasn’t going to know how, so he’d sidelined a nurse while Cas was sleeping and made her let him practice on a cpr dummy until he got it right.  _

_ “Tell me if it gets too tight,” he said, though he hoped that he could repeat the way he’d done it in the hospital, tight enough to hold but not restrictive.  _

_ Cas stopped Dean though from wrapping him up just yet. He stared at himself in the mirror and though his chest was nothing what it would end up looking like once it was healed, he was still in shock that it finally happened. _

_ “I just…” he started but trailed off. _

_ “I have no idea what you must be going through, sweetheart but...are you okay?” Dean asked, chewing at his lip nervously. It had been something Cas had been headstrong in wanting and Dean didn’t want to deprive him. If he thought having tits made him less of a dude, then he’d do everything he could to make sure they were gone and he liked what he saw in the mirror.  _

_ “Do...do you think I’m ugly?” Cas whispered, barely able to look at Dean through the mirror who was still standing behind him. _

_ “What?” Dean gaped, it had never crossed his mind that Cas would worry about something that seemed so unchangeable to him. He did his best to bury the smidge of hurt he felt because he knew it was nothing compared to what Cas was going through and he couldn’t help feeling insecure. “No...No Cas. I don’t think you’re ugly. I could never think you are ugly. I love you just as much today as I did yesterday and the day before and the day before that.”  _

_ Dean blew out a deep breath, “You see this?” Dean asked, pointing at Cas downturned lips. “This is the only thing that could make you more beautiful...just a little lift, right-there,” he said, gently tugging up the corners until Cas was softly smiling. “There we go, perfect.”  _

_ Cas sniffled a little and nodded, “I...I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you Dean but I’ll be forever grateful for it. I love you,” he said squeezing at Dean’s sides. He really wanted to hug him but his chest was starting to hurt and it would only pull at his stitches. _

_ “I don’t know what’s going on in your head but if anyone is lucky here, it’s me.” Dean said, shaking his head. “Now let me get you wrapped up like a burrito and then I can make you something to eat.”  _

_ Cas nodded and lifted his arms so Dean could wrap him up again. Once it was finished, he wrapped his arms around Dean’s torso and buried his face against his chest, “We’re both lucky,” he grumbled. _

_ “Eh, maybe I can go with that,” Dean teased, kissing gently on the top of Castiel’s head. He sure as hell felt luckier than most since he’d gotten a glimpse of those big blue eyes.  _

Cas sighed again his head lolling back against Dean’s shoulder, “Just remembering the first time I showed you my scars,” he said, smiling at Dean’s questioning look.

“Hmm,” Dean grunted, gently guiding Cas in under the spray so that he could wash his hair for him. “I remember that, you were...you really scared me. The surgery, the prospect of losing you or having you feel like you weren’t yourself still, a lot of worst case scenarios to freak out about then.” 

“I’m sorry for scaring you Dean,” Cas hummed, tilting his head back, “I was terrified of all of that too. Well, more so that you wouldn’t be able to look at me the same. I know, I know you would never do such a thing but sometimes the voices inside my head were louder than you,” Cas said.

“It’s fine, Cas. Nothing for you to apologize about, you were just doing what you needed to do to feel like  _ you _ ,” Dean promised, rinsing out the shampoo as best as he could. “I’m just happy you can finally look in the mirror and see what you want to see. See what I always saw, which was that you are gorgeous.”

Cas hummed again, loving the way Dean’s fingers combed through his hair. He returned the favor and soon they were washing each other up with Cas’s favorite scented soap. Dean pretended to hate it but Cas more than once caught him using it just to smell like him. Cas hugged around Dean tightly as his husband kissed him slowly.

Thy climbed out when the water started to get cold, that in of itself was a feat considering Dean had bought two of the best water heaters money could buy. They put all they had to spare back into the community most of the time but while their house wasn’t huge, it didn’t mean they didn’t keep  _ some _ luxuries like the best bed either of them had ever slept on, a gourmet kitchen, a huge jacuzzi tub, and water heaters, the  _ best _ water heaters. 

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” Dean said, after Cas had mostly finished drying off, before promptly picking him up bridal style and carrying him to their insanely comfortable mattress. 

Cas laughed softly, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. Before he was set down, he kissed at Dean’s cheek. He yawned as the exhaustion really began to settle in and he laid back, letting Dean tuck him in. Anyone looking in would probably ask why Dean put up with catering to someone like him but Cas knew, Dean loved doing these things for him. Cas never had to ask, in fact Dean started with even smaller things and he never had the heart to tell Dean to stop. Now though, Cas loved it but for the simple reason that it made Dean happy. 

Cas snuggled into the comforter and managed to stay awake long enough for Dean to do his usual check up around the house to make sure everything was locked. He sighed softly when Dean’s arms wrapped around him tightly, pulling Cas securely against his chest.

“We’ll have to get Emma one of these mattresses,” Cas mumbled, his eyes already drooping.

“She’s not been back with us for a full twenty four hours and already you want to spoil her,” Dean smiled, his speech moving just a bit slower than usual as the exhaustion from the day was finally able to take it’s hold. “Mmm, sounds like you’re a natural dad to me.” 

“Same to you,” Cas yawned again and then hummed softly, “You were the one who demanded she come stay with us without even asking her first,” Cas snorted. He rolled over to bury his face against Dean’s shirt and tangled their legs together to get as close as possible to his husband.

“Like you wouldn’t have done the same,” he replied, shaking his head at Cas and smacking his lips together. “Get some sleep. Our baby girl is going to still be here with us tomorrow.” 


End file.
